Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
