Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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