dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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