The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
