i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
