Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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