Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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