I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
