If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
