Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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