Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
