it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
