I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
