It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
send nudes
from the living room?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
