In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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