His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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