i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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