I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
