NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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