my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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