I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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