Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
