Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
