At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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