I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
