none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
