your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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