Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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