Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
