Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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