Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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