I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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