He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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