She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
