It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
