After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
