I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
