I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
