how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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