Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
