just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
