tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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