btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
