the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
