yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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