I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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