some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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