Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
