oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
