she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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