Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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