and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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