So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We're too hungover to prance.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
