Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
