just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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