Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
