She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
