google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
