my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
