I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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