What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
