He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
