this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
